Rant…

I’m far from the first writer to have a good old rant about this, and sadly I will be far from the last, but here goes anyway…

Producers:  I am far from unreasonable.  I get that few of you are sitting on nice big juicy development funds.  If you want to produce something I have written but do not have immediate access to funds to option it properly, I am happy to discuss it with you.  More than likely, if I believe in you and want to work with you, we will be able to arrange some form of mutually beneficial short term handshake pre option sort of thing, which will give you the opportunity to raise (or begin to) the necessary cash to see me right, but – and this is important – I don’t have my precious livelihood held hostage on a handshake for all time.   On a smaller project, it may well be that the credit or experience or contacts formed will be worth more to me than a bit of cash; we can absolutely have that conversation too, and if we can agree on terms that suit us both, then great.

However.  I do not write screenplays for the good of my health.  This is how I pay my mortgage and buy stuff; ultimately, I write and you pay me money.  Then you can use my script, which you have bought and paid for, to make yourself money.  That is how your job works.  If you take my script and you don’t have any of the above described conversations with me and you don’t pay me money, then you are stealing.  And you suck.

When you blithely email me to announce that you’re restructuring and you hope pay me in April or so, I have a problem.  Because unfortunately, I cannot then ring up my bank manager to explain that I am restructuring and hope to pay my mortgage in April or so.   When you mention in passing that you are reconsidering the direction of the company and all projects – despite verbal commitments – are “on hold” until further notice, I have a problem.  Because unfortunately I can’t explain to the supermarket that, while I may have implied that I would pay for the food I am taking home with me, now I’m reconsidering the direction of my dinner – but I expect to hang on to this food while I do so.

When I cast my little no budget short recently, I made sure that the actors I approached understood the circumstances, and had any of them said they couldn’t afford the time, or simply didn’t work for free on principle, I would have absolutely understood.  I would never dream of offering someone a part, and only later, when they think they have booked a job, break it to them that I didn’t have anything to pay them with.  Because I would never to do anyone else what you are doing to me.  You thieving bastards.